The PR of Your Inner Voice: Using the F.E.E.L. Framework to Navigate Tough Emotions at Work & Home

By: Ashley Barnard

Communications professionals are magicians. I feel that in my bones! We are the unsung heroes behind the success of many entrepreneurs, organizations, and brands, managing their narrative to ensure they look and feel their best in the eyes of the world. And we often do it all with overflowing enthusiasm and the biggest smiles we can muster, no matter how stressed or frustrated we are when handling a big campaign or facing a difficult client.

Then, we come home to a new set of challenges: the loss of a family member or friend, a messy divorce, our kids who need extra time and attention after a difficult day at school, or a scary health diagnosis. Or maybe we’re just having an “off” day for no particular reason at all.

And that’s why, during May’s Mental Health Awareness Month, I want to give us PR rockstars permission to feel all of the feelings in a safe and loving way! Yes, that means giving yourself permission to move through those messy and uncomfortable emotions that we often have to bury and put on a smiling face for a client or the demands of a PR campaign. You see, these emotions, such as sadness, frustration, anger, imposter syndrome, and unworthiness (just to name a few), are normal and natural, and yet most of us ignore them so we don’t have to face them. 

Take it from me - I’ve been there. After witnessing the sudden death of my father to a heart attack when I was just 11 years old, I suppressed my emotions for nearly 20 years. I buried myself in my work, but it caught up to me, eventually manifesting in my body as a mystery illness that nearly killed me in my mid 30s, which was eventually diagnosed as Lyme disease. That’s when, for the first time in nearly 20 years, did I give myself permission to feel the grief, sadness, anger and despair that I had been successfully burying. I wore a mask of strength to the world but inside, I was dying and so deeply sad. It wasn’t until I took the time to honor all of my emotions in a safe and loving way did I heal my body and emotional and mental health. Today, I’m healthier and happier than ever. I give myself permission to feel all of my feelings in a loving, safe, and supportive environment, and that’s what I want to encourage you to do starting today!

No matter what you’re going through outside of your career (or maybe even within it!), it’s clear that we communications professionals can expertly manage our clients’ narratives, but that doesn’t mean we always know how to or even give ourselves the time to manage our own. I don’t mean the narrative of the enthusiastic workhorse who makes their job look easy and does it all with a smile. I mean your narrative as a whole person feeling every human emotion that you feel, or the narrative of your inner voice that has so much to express but has been suppressed by that go-getter attitude of yours. 

I want you to know this: I see you, friend. You are not alone. As the Founder and CEO of Nardi Media LLC, I know how the fast-paced, high-stakes nature of the media and communications industry can leave little room for mental health practices, though I’ve learned (the hard way) that if we don’t take time to nurture our mental health, especially when uncomfortable emotions arise, it will be at the determinant to our well-being as a whole. That’s what inspired me to write my award-winning book, Authentic Power: Give Yourself Permission to Feel, and introduce my F.E.E.L. Framework.

The F.E.E.L. Framework, an acronym for Focus, Enter, Experience, and Learn, guides me in dealing with all the emotions I encounter daily, from frustration at my kids when they get into a squabble with each other, to the stress of launching a new campaign for a client, to my feelings of imposter syndrome in my work.

The F.E.E.L. Framework can be an internal dialogue, a meditation, or a writing practice that you can do practically anywhere. It’s about reestablishing a connection with yourself and your inner wisdom, and learning to become present in front of these experiences and emotions. It allows you to take a pause and get curious about what you’re feeling. It can take you two minutes to do, or 30 minutes to do - that is up to you. But at the end of the F.E.E.L. process, you’ll have spent some time tapping into your own authentic power by feeling through your emotions.

Here’s how you can move through uncomfortable emotions using my F.E.E.L. Framework:

Step 1: Focus: Focus on your feelings and identify what it is you may be feeling. Give it a name. If you’re unsure of how you are feeling, acknowledge that, too.

Step 2: Enter: Enter within the emotion. Just as a hurricane has an eye of a storm, go to the center of that feeling by meditating on it and breathing through it.

Step 3: Experience: Experience the emotion and become the owner of it. This might be uncomfortable, and that is okay. Breathe through it, sit with it, feel it, cry with it, laugh with it.

Step 4: Learn: Learn from that emotion and listen to what it is telling you. There is a reason this emotion is coming up for you, so let it teach you!

I know it can be scary to walk yourself through those messy ‘ol emotions but I promise when you do, you’ll feel the purge and palette cleanse you didn’t know you needed. Your body, heart, and inner knowing will thank you. You’ll likely learn more about yourself than ever before, and as a result, you’ll flex your inner wisdom muscle even more to what I call you “Authentic Power”. You’ve got this! To learn more about the F.E.E.L. Framework and how to use it for true healing, I encourage you to check out my book Authentic Power here or wherever books are sold.

Ashley Bernardi is the founder and CEO of Nardi Media, a boutique media relations firm that specializes in high-impact placements and training for authors, thought leaders, and mission-driven brands. A former network TV producer and author of Authentic Power, Ashley has helped multiple authors become New York Times bestsellers and secured placements in top outlets including TODAY, GMA, The New York Times, and CBS This Morning. Ashley is also a sought-after media trainer, known for coaching clients to deliver compelling, authentic interviews that resonate on national television and top podcasts.