Author: WWPR

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Not only do those of us living in D.C. face the typical challenges of making friends (lack of time, energy, etc.), we live in particularly transient city. Just when we think we have formed a solid friend group, our pals move elsewhere and we have to once again put ourselves on the friend market.

Having moved from D.C. to Paris six months ago, I, too, am in the process of finding “my people.” Although I by no means have as many friends in Paris as I did while living in D.C., here are some strategies that have worked for me so far:

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1. Join (or create) a professional org such as WWPR

Well, you can pat yourself on the back because you’ve already joined a network of potential friends. In addition to attending WWPR events, joining a committee to help run the organization can serve as a way to befriend members. Since WWPR unfortunately does not exist in Paris, I launched a Lean In Circle here, which is a professional group. The circle has been a stimulating way to get to know femmes in Paris (and discover new cafes!).

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2. Be open to friends of all ages

Although age mattered in childhood (think: the days of proclaiming, “I am x years and x quarters”), it does not need to in adulthood. Despite being five years my junior, the intern at my office (pictured above) has become one of my closest friends here. I have also befriended my 83-year-old neighbor who frequently invites me to her apartment for dinner and informs me of the must-see exhibits in Paris.

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3. Connect with alumni of your college or university

No matter where you went to university, chances are there are alumni in your neck of the woods! Although I went to a college of only 2,000 students in New England, there are over 30 alums in Paris. Translation: over 30 potential friends! Above is a photo of some of us gathered at a cafe called Un Dimanche à Paris in central Paris.

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4. Be Brave

I heard a door creak outside my apartment one morning before work. Even though I was not quite ready to leave, I threw on my coat and shoes and introduced myself to a neighbor my age who was leaving her apartment for the day. We made conversation walking to the metro. When I returned home that evening, I found a note on my door from her saying it had been lovely to chat with her number in case I ever wanted to grab a drink.

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5. Join a fun common interest group

Wanting to embrace my artistic side, I have joined a group of creative writers in Paris. We get together about once a month for writing sessions and to socialize. Here’s a photo of us gathered at a friend’s apartment for Sunday brunch. In addition to the writing group, I recently tried out a running group for expats and Parisians.

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6. Stay in touch with old friends!

Since making close friends in our current place of residence can take time, it is important to stay in touch with old friends. A short Facetime session or call with an old friend can offset the temporary feeling of loneliness when we’re still trying to find our people. Also, let’s face it, there’s nothing quite like catching up with a childhood friend.

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What made you decide to become a professional coach?

My passion for supporting women’s professional and personal growth was inspired by my own journey. When I first moved to DC years ago, everything in my life looked perfect on the outside, but the truth was a different story. What people didn’t see were my insecurities and my desire to be ‘perfect’, always achieving or ‘pleasing others,’ along with the silence of struggling with depression and anxiety from my teenage years. Eventually I could no longer maintain the façade and meet the unrealistic expectations I had for myself, and I sought help. Through this process, I began to truly understand what I wanted in life and my career, and became attuned to the fact that it was becoming far too common for women facing similar personal challenges. I discovered coaching a few years later and knew in my heart that this was how I wanted to leverage my strengths to make a positive impact in this area.

Today, I teach women how to breakthrough uncertainty and self-doubt to get clear on what they want to achieve, decide who they want to be, and confidently create their next steps forward in their career, life and leadership.

What are the most common issues that women come to you for guidance?

Most of my clients initially seek out coaching because they’re feeling dissatisfied, unfulfilled, or stuck professionally and/or personally. They know they want more than their current situation, and they’re either unclear on how to get to where they want to be, or are unsure about what they truly want to pursue in the first place. Our work focuses on helping them unlearn what they think they “should” do and stop listening to that critical internal voice that’s holding them back so that they can create new habits, make decisions, and approach life in ways that fully support them to thrive.

I work with clients individually in which they receive customized coaching and guidance from me to achieve their goals. I also host small group coaching programs and support organizations in creating leadership development programming for their employees.

It’s really easy to have a bad habit, how do you start and keep a good habit? I’ve always heard that if you can do something for 21 days, then you’ve got it. 

With any habit, it’s important to get clear on your intention behind wanting to make a change, and ensure that reason is an authentic and supportive one. For example, when we try to change from a place of “I should do this” or feeling like we’re inadequate in some way, it’s going to be difficult to maintain positive motivation. Additionally, having a strong “why” behind our reason to change can keep us going when times get tough. It’s also important to start out with a simple plan that outlines small steps that you can take to build momentum with your habit. As you create those small wins for yourself, you will naturally feel more confident and inspired to keep going.

Most importantly, don’t forget to be patient and love yourself throughout the process. Life isn’t just about achieving the result or the outcome, but it’s about who we become in the journey of getting there—that’s where our true power lies! 

I love a good calendar, a to-do list and post it notes but I find myself putting some of these in my phone and others on paper. Most of the time it’s the first piece of paper I can find. Do you have any helpful tips for staying organized?

The key to being organized is having consistent and automatic systems and processes in place to facilitate our life and business/work so that we can operate at our best. We don’t need a fancy color-coded calendar to be organized—we just need to create the systems and tools that work best for us and adhere to them on a regular basis. Consider your planning and organization needs and what tools you like to work with, and then create a consistent plan to implement and follow through on a daily basis.

You talk about leadership at all levels. Can you briefly describe that and your Emerging Women Leaders group? 

Regarding ‘leadership at all levels,’ I believe that everyone is a leader no matter where they may sit in an organizational hierarchy. We all have the power to impact and influence others by being authentic and sharing our truth. We don’t need to conform to a role or meet some incredibly high expectation to be a leader. It’s when we let go of what we think leadership “should be” that we can step into who we really are which is a key ingredient for real transformational leadership.

Emerging Women Leaders is a professional and personal development group which offers monthly coaching events and workshops for women professionals in DC. I facilitate the events and love the community that we’ve created! Women in the area can join by accessing the group, Emerging Women Leaders, in Meetup: https://www.meetup.com/DC-Women-Emerging-Leaders/

I think for some women who don’t have a coach it’s because it’s just not in their budget. Why is it important for women to have a coach? 

Investing in the right coach is the ultimate investment in yourself! Imagine having a confidant, partner, and advisor who is there to fully support your best interests, provide you with tools, strategies and accountability to get you to the next level, and can get you there faster than going through the process by yourself. I can speak from the perspective of working with my own coach on a regular basis—even as a trained coach, I love having a coach to partner with to create real results in my life and business.

Regarding the budget, to quote Warren Buffet: “Ultimately, there’s one investment that supersedes all others: Invest in yourself.” I believe that if we really want to invest in something, we will find the ways to make it happen! My advice is to not let yourself be at the effect of your budget, but instead make your budget work for you and the life you want to create for yourself. What is the cost of not investing in the coach or self-development program that you’re interested in? Where could you be in 6 months or a year from now if you chose to invest in yourself today? What’s really holding you back from moving forward?

How do you personally step away from your job?

This is an excellent question as it can be easy to get sucked into working around the clock when you’re passionate about your work. I’m also a part-time graduate student, so I have to prioritize my self-care and recovery time to ensure I’m at my peak performance for my business and clients. I regularly exercise, practice meditation and journal, and spend time outside. I love to travel and switch up my routine as often as I can, read, and spend time with my boyfriend, family and friends. My guilty pleasures include watching my favorite reality shows on Bravo and Law and Order SVU, and lifting weights in the gym!